Day 4 here in Cabo. Can’t believe my annual reboot week is half over. Anyways, as most of you reading this probably already know, Duke decided to play Iowa State today in the United Center. Lucky for me my phone doesn’t work in cabo because few things have ever been more annoying then what I saw in my fb inbox today. I’m sure there are some equally bad text messages and bbms patiently awaiting my return stateside. Anyways FB Exhibit A) “heyyy you! duke is playing in chicago! sooo jealous. ru there???” Exhibit B) “I finally make it to Chicago and you’re in Cabo? You suck!” and my personal favorite, the much overdue Exhibit C) “Just saw you go to Dook. Want to no how do you like sucking Shyers dick? haha good times” (yes, this is actually verbatim and no, it is not from don sykes). Not only did this gem come from a person I wasn’t even Facebook friends with, it came from someone whose name I didn’t even remotely recognize. Clicking on this person’s profile I was absolutely shocked to see that the kid listed his education as Glenbrook South ’06. We shared a grand total of 9 mutual friends – 4 of which I had completely forgotten about.
While many of you are probably wondering where this is going and why I am wasting space on The Rolodex for this when I still have yet to present you with the much hyped story of Uncle Bob the Nudist, it is because this chance encounter presented me with my new favorite way to waste 2 hours online. Facebook search your graduating class in high school and browse through the results. If you went to a big school like I did, you will undoubtedly bear witness to many faces and names you have never seen or heard before. It is quite amusing to click on the profile pictures of your ex-classmates, especially those with whom you have lost complete contact or completely forgotten about, to see how the years have treated them. Where else but on Facebook can you see Jon Carlson’s sweet new tat (Timmy D’s latest victim), rediscover the likes of a Caleb Topel or discover Issa Gean’s hidden talents (to be completely honest I didn’t know Issa Gean existed at all before this little exercise). Most interesting of course is seeing which of your former classmates got hot out of nowhere. While many girls I never knew or completely ignored in High School appear to have gotten pretty cute, I’d have to say that if I were to pull a repeat of my infamous Girls of South Survey (which by the way served as the inspiration for this classic 2007 South Park Episode http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/130282/Jackie McLaughlin would definitely make at least the first cut.
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- Synchronized head balancing!
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- Timmy D inks up JC
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- Gotcha Caleb Topel!
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- Jackie McLaughlin Dimond in the Ruff
For those that didn’t go to South, the premise of The List was simple. In a categorical, statistics-based attempt to determine the hottest girl in the Glenbrook South Class of 2006, a NCAA style assortment of 64 girls was selected by a random sample of male South 06ers. All 64 names were placed in a Houston Mavericks throwback cap and randomly drawn to make four divisions of 16 girls each. Girls were ranked according to hotness on a scale of 1 to 16 (1 being the hottest) within their division by over 200 male voters via e-mail. Rankings were tallied in Excel and the 8 girls from each division with the lowest average ranking scores moved on. Names were put back in the hat, new random divisions were selected, and the ranking process was continued round after round a la March Madness: 32, Sweet 16, Elite 8, etc.
As I have recently been reminded on four separate occasions this break, many South girls still are pissed at me for orchestrating The List. Girls are still hatin’ on both me and on each other due to what round they ended up getting bounced in. Many erroneously recall who ended up topping The List, but the truth is that it was never completed as outcries from anonymous girls and their parents got me in some serious trouble with good ol’ Principal Smith. For the record, the Final 4 was comprised of five candidates as three ended up in a third place tie after Elite 8 voting. The Final 5 in alphabetical order: Lexi Bigg, Shannon Carroll, Ashlee Cooperman, Emily Nelson, and Elizabeth Hofstetter. And the best part of the project? It earned me an A for my final statistics project in Honors Pre-Calc!
Now if I was a complete asshole, I would already have a poll up along with posted pix of the Final Five so we could settle the score and end the debate once and for all. However since I was sent to school to be ‘refined’ I have come up with a more sophisticated idea. The List will only be reborn if readers are clammering for it. If the response is great enough The Rolodex will contact each of the finalists asking them to self-submit a picture so those of you tuning in from outside of the North Shore can participate. To avoid this from being Sophomore year all over again The Rolodex will offer each finalist cash considerations in exchange for their willingness to participate with a special grand prize from The Rolodex for the winner. The Rolodex asks its faithful readers now to comment below saying how much they would contribute to the cause.
